If you attend a different college than your best friend, there’s a good chance you don’t see each other as often as you did in high school. No matter how many times you promise to text and call, life sometimes gets in the way, and makes it hard to keep up the friendship. It’s difficult to maintain a friendship when you don’t see each other every day and you’re both doing new things and making new friends. In my situation, it was hard to keep in touch with my best friend during our freshman year because we were both doing such different things and had busy schedules.
My best friend is studying something different from me, so she went to a school that had an excellent program for her field of study, while I went to another school that had an excellent program for my field. During my first semester, I missed her like crazy and I was lonely. Now that we’ve spent a year at separate colleges, we’ve learned how to maintain our close relationship despite both of our crazy busy schedules. Here are things we do to keep our friendship strong.
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Both you and your best friend must make compromises and put effort into the relationship.
In any relationship, whether it’s familial, friendly, or romantic, both people involved must make compromises and put effort into the relationship. Without this effort, the friendship can easily fizzle out. For example, sometimes, I make the trip to see my best friend, and sometimes she makes the trip to see me. We both take time out of our schedule to hang out. We understand when the other person is simply too busy to talk or hang out. We both intentionally put in time and effort to make sure the friendship stays alive…
College changes friendships. As I said before, you won’t see each other as much anymore. You will both be busy with work and other things, and it will be hard to spend time together. You will start hanging out with different people and doing different things. Both friends need to know that this will happen, and to be understanding and patient when it does. I have had to cancel on my friend; she has had to cancel on me because we’re simply too busy. It’s frustrating, but we’ve learned to work with each other. When something like that happens, rather than get upset, we move forward and start planning our next hang.
Thankfully, due to technology, keeping a long distance friendship is easier today than ever before. Take advantage of modern tech by using it to stay in touch with your friend. Text, Snapchat, call, or Facetime often. These tools are also great for making plans to see each other in real life. Use them for that, too, because technology is great, but it’s no substitute for seeing them in real life.
Meet new people, but don’t forget about her.
Some people like to start fresh in college. That’s great, but don’t leave behind the people who helped you get to where you are. While you’re in college, you’ll need the support of your best friend, even if she’s miles away. I have great friends at my school, but my best friend is still #1.
But at the same time, don’t spend too much time talking to her that you forget to make new friends.
I’m the type of person who would rather stick closely to the friends I already have than branch out and talk to new people. We’re comfortable around each other, and we’re happy as it is, why bother building a friendship from scratch with someone new? This habit became a problem in college because I didn’t have any friends to stick to. I had to learn to come out of my comfort zone and introduce myself to people. It was hard at first, but my new friends were nice enough to include me in their circle. Although I see them almost every day during the semester, I enjoy their company, and I can have good conversations with them, I am not as close with them as I am with my best friend.
When it comes to making new friends and keeping in touch with old friends, you have to find balance. Make friends in college, because these are the people you will see every day. They might even help you make meaningful job connections in the future. But you should still be close with your best friend, because even if you don’t see her often, she will always be there for you.
My best friend and I are in different schools and completely different majors. Still, we maintain our close relationship by intentionally spending time with each other. If you are willing to make compromises and put effort into the friendship, you and your best friend can continue to be close despite the distance.
How do you stay close with your best friend when you both have busy schedules?