I know I’m not the only girl who has looked at another girl and thought to myself, “I wish I had her hair”, “I wish I had her eyes”, “I wish I had her body”, “I wish I had as many friends as she has”, or “I wish I was as smart as she is”. I also know I’m not the only girl who stalks pretty girls on Instagram and falls into a comparison trap.
Comparison is a big problem among us girls. Women have great potential, but comparison makes us focus on being better than the next girl rather than on bettering ourselves and helping better each other. Recently, I read a guest post on The Young Hopeful written by Sarah about body comparison. It inspired me to write a post explaining my own take on comparison in general. Here are some ways to squash the comparison bug…
Note: comparison isn’t limited to physical characteristics. It can be things like a number of followers, an amazing opportunity, etc. Keep that in mind as you read.
Train your mind to focus on what you do have instead of what you don’t.
It’s so easy to focus on the negatives of life and on the things that we lack. But if we make a conscious effort to switch our mentality, we can train our minds to be grateful for what we do have. This mental switch will help us focus on our strengths (and on making them stronger) rather than on our weaknesses. If it helps, keep a list of your greatest strengths. Refer to it anytime you need to remind yourself how fabulous you are. The next time you’re feeling bad about yourself, make your mind switch gears to focus on something you love about yourself.
Realize that there is enough beauty, smarts, and success to go around.
Just because another girl is pretty, successful, or smart doesn’t mean that you can’t be pretty, successful, or smart, too. There’s enough success to go around! One girl’s beauty or achievement is not the absence of your own. Don’t be intimidated by the achievements of your fellow ladies. Instead, celebrate with them! I admit that I personally need to work on this.
Reminder: no one’s life is perfect.
You don’t see the whole picture of someone’s life just by looking at them. You don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. She might have tons of friends, but you don’t know what she’s struggling with behind closed doors.
Don’t trust what you see on social media.
Obviously, just because something is on the Internet, it’s automatically true. Right? People only post on social media what they want you to see. It’s not the whole truth. They only show off the glamorous parts of their lives. They don’t post about their less-than-stellar days. For example, you’ll definitely see the awesome college she was accepted to, but you won’t see how many she was rejected from. When you compare yourself to someone you follow on social media, you’re comparing your B-reel to her feature film. You’re putting yourself at a disadvantage. If it helps you, you should stop stalking those hot girls on Instagram who seem to have it all together, because I’m sure they don’t.
Other women are not your competition. They’re your sisters.
This was my favorite part of Sarah’s guest post. We women love to compete with each other. Why do we pit ourselves against each other? Why do we get jealous when we see another girl being successful? It really doesn’t make sense. Instead of trying to one-up each other, why don’t we build each other up? Once we start seeing other girls as our sisters rather than our competition, we can become an unstoppable force.
Spread the Love
So how do we implement everything I mentioned in this post? How do we treat other women like sisters rather than competition? I’ll give you the answer in 2 words: support and love. If you know your friend is applying to a really prestigious job, SUPPORT her in this endeavor. If another one of your friends fails a test, LOVE her and let her know it’ll be okay. Little things like this go a long way, and if we make it a habit to love and support each other, the world would be a much better place.
Like many other girls, I tend to compare myself to other girls: girls that I see on campus and girls on Instagram. This causes us to feel like crap because we feel that we don’t measure up to them. Instead of seeing other women as our competition, let’s see them as our sisters. Sisters don’t tear each other down; they build each other up.
Do you have any tips to break the habit of comparison? I’d love to hear them!